Talk Story: Rechung

How did Hawai‘i become your home?

I was born here. My father grew up here and my mother came here during college. My dad, who is Black, his dad was an Air Force guy and they moved up here when he was a kid and he grew up in ‘Ewa Beach. He was really into surfing and then he stopped surfing and got into meditation and was really, really into it. He did a three year retreat and this was during the Tibetan diaspora. They were starting to teach westerners so he thought it was a good idea. He went up to Canada to a place called Salt Spring Island, did three years up there, became a lama. Now he lives on the Big Island, kind of cruising.

Since your family has been here for a couple generations now, do you feel like there is a specific Hawai‘i Black identity?

There’s not many of us, especially growing up. Now I think there’s a lot more Black people out here in Hawai‘i. But growing up, in the entire school there was maybe like, two of us. In my high school I think there was like two or three of us in any given year. Sometimes they’d come and leave. Even in lower schools there were like one or two Black people. So I guess, what would that culture be? I don’t know.

Growing up there were a lot of military, but that is different, maybe it’s not as ingrained with the Local culture because they have their own bases. They have base culture which is not as much Local culture-infused. I don’t know what a Hawai‘i specific Black culture would be.  I mean, there probably is a Local Black culture. I just don’t know about it.

None of us really describe ourselves as pōpolo.

Yeah, I don’t really hear that word very often. I know that when my dad was growing up people would call him that and he would beat them up. But maybe we can own it.  Why not? I think it’s fine.

Like with my dad, it was the same with him. He was the only one in his schools growing up. My exposure to a Black culture was in visiting my family on the mainland.

What was it like as a kid who grew up in Hawai‘i and then going to the mainland?

It was weird. It was really weird. The first time there was so much hugging.  People would hug me and I would freeze up like, “What am I suppose to do?” There was a lot of energy. It was very different.  I was mostly in the Bay Area or somewhere in California, in a place called Lompoc where a lot of them were, my cousins, aunts, and uncles. Then a lot of them spread out to different places.

When you go to the mainland it’s kind of true that you’re not “really” Black because our culture is just different. Maybe I wouldn’t say that you’re not “really” Black but culturally there is a very different thing happening. And the same thing happens in Japan. If I go to Japan I’m not Japanese, right? If I go to the mainland you’re not really Black, but if you’re here…there’s no place to go. I think especially being mixed there’s not a place, or a thing, or a culture because you are blends of everything.

For a long time I had a hard time with that and really it was reading Obama’s book and seeing him crush it and you’re like “Eh, it’s ok.” Even if we’re not “really” Black, it’s fine. I think his election made it—at least for myself—okay. You know, here’s another guy who grew up in Makiki, just like me, who’s half-half, just like me. You read his book and he went through a lot of the same “Oh, who am I? What’s going on?” Just like me. But then in the end it’s okay.

Do you think your being Japanese gives you more space to be ‘Local’?

Maybe. But I don’t speak Pidgin. If I go to Japan I’m not Japanese. I don’t think most Japanese people, to be honest, would think of me as Japanese, even here in Hawai‘i. It was harder growing up. As an adult it’s whatever.

Since you’ve spent some time on the mainland, do you feel like having grown up in Hawai‘i has equipped you to deal with some of those racial issues or identity issues you might encounter on the mainland in a different way?

It’s kind of touchy, but I think there are a lot of limiting beliefs in a lot of our Black communities and growing up here in an experimental petri dish I didn’t grow up with a lot of those limiting beliefs. So, it was weird getting exposed to them a little later on in life.

At the same time, I went to the mainland and a lot of the difficulty was just the racism. I thought, why should I stay here if I can just go home and not have all of these extra disadvantages, these outright disadvantages? Racism is a real thing and I didn’t feel like I was being accepted until I started giving up. In the Black community, when I started pulling myself down then I started to feel like I was being accepted and that was one of the reasons I left. I was like “Whoa, dude, I can’t do this. I have to get out of here.” And then I went back home to Hawai‘i.

On the mainland, I guess a lot of the conversation was about sympathizing with each other on different negative experiences and I had to wonder if this was helpful in who I wanted to become as a person. But I have mixed feelings about this whole thing because for me it was like I had a choice, almost, where I could step back. It’s like meditation where you can see. I was able to be aware of the shift that was happening in me. But I’m still Black. There are a lot of tough things and our people have been through a lot of fucked up shit with a lot of belief systems that aren’t helpful, on top of the real attacks from other people.

They say that there’s a moment between a stimulus and your reaction, but either way, even if you make a choice in another direction it doesn’t matter because people are still going to have their own beliefs and will act in whatever way they want to act toward you. 

When you came home did you feel like your experiences on the mainland informed your next moves in any particular way?

Yeah, totally. I got a deeper understanding of a lot of things going out there.  Coming back home was good. Sometimes I think ,“Was that a cop out? Could I stay out there and do that thing?” But then, you know, really when you think about it, I’m from here.  This is my shit. This is my life. Will I go back out there? Maybe. I don’t know. Even out here there are things. It’s a lot more subtle in Hawai‘i. Everything in Hawai‘i happens in your face but in a more passive aggressive vibe. I think the racism out there is a lot more venomous. It’s less venomous out here. Over here I don’t feel like anyone is going to kill me. I might have a shitty day but it is very rare that something violent will happen because of my skin color.

It’s a super racist place out there. People get killed all the time, like every week, and now it’s on video. There’s no doubt what happened. It’s all on video and still it’s like “Oh, it wasn’t a thing…” It’s ridiculous. It’s crazy. Mainland is weird. It’s different.

Do you feel like there is a place in your life in Hawai‘i for more relationships with Black folks here?

There was a time when that was really important. I would seek that out, community here in Hawai‘i with Black folks. I just want to be around good people. It really would depend on what the vibe is because there are good people and messed up people in every shade.  I wouldn’t be like “Let’s just hang out because we’re the same skin color.” It depends on what they’re about.

A Black community would have been really helpful when I was forming. Especially positive images because a lot of it is that growing up here the images you see of Black people is what you see on TV and that’s not reality. It’s an alternate universe. But now that I am a formed person, I don’t know…It could be cool.

This is the first conversation I’ve had like this with anybody, talking about being Black and growing up in Hawai‘i. No one really cares. I don’t talk about it very often. The experience is that you’re not really Black, you’re not really Local, so then who am I?

This project is interesting to me because I think a lot of times we don’t hear each other’s stories. 

But really, I just want to eat food with people. That’s my goal.